508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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