based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Randomize
