I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
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Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
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Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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