I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
