Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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