she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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