i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
