you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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