first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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