I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
