I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
