i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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