you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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