walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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