I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
