The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
