I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
