Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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