Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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