Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
