Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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