You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
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