I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
