there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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