in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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