Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
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Semen is not good for contacts.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
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You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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