Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
