im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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