You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
