If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
