Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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