I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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