She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Is it penis luge time yet?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
