Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
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