hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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