it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Randomize
