You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
