Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
