I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
