i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
birth control should be required to get into college
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
