his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
