The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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