so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
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stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
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He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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