I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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