my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
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