Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
