She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize