I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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