So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
