So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
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