She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
