This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
