I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
