We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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